Autotune Skavlan

Autotune the news gjorde fantastiska grejer på Youtube och detta var en variant på det hela. Skavlan intervjuar Viktor Muller, Charlotte Perrelli, Linn Ullman och Håkan Juholt. De lösryckta replikerna blev nedanstående soppa, men upphovsrättsfrågan för en sådan här pryl är snårig.

SkavlanYou have now controlled SAAB for two years.
It’s been a bumpy ride to keep that brand alive.
It’s been a bumpy ride to keep that brand alive.
It’s been a bumpy ride.
MullerPutting it mildly, very tough.
SkavlanIt’s been a bumpy ride to keep that brand alive.
It’s been a bumpy ride.
MullerVery tough, it’d been very bumpy.
SkavlanDo you sleep at night?
MullerWe’re working day and night.
SkavlanDo you sleep at night?
Muller… is working day and night.
SkavlanDo you sleep at night?
JuholtHär var jag i Stockholm
för att jobba och slita dygnet runt!
SkavlanDo you sleep at night?
PerrelliDet är ju sådär med passion (x2)
Jag älskar ju!
SkavlanEeeeh, eeeh, å – å – å. Eeeeh, eeeeh.
UllmanÄäää ääää?
SkavlanEeeeh, eeeh, å – å – å. Eeeeh, eeeeh.
JuholtJaaaa!
Det är väldigt många människor i vårt land som vill
att vi Socialdemokrater ska göra mycket bättre.
Som vill att jag ska göra mycket bättre.
Som vill att partiet ska göra mycket bättre.
SkavlanEeeeh, eeeh, å – å – å. Eeeeh, eeeeh.
UllmanÄäää ääää?
SkavlanEeeeh, eeeh, å – å – å. Eeh.
SAABs mytomspunne direktör Viktor Muller.
If I was (x6)
employed in Trollhättan
and wondering whether I’ll have money for Christmas.
What would you say to me now?
MullerYou have to control your fear.
and you have to rationalize your fear.
You have to control it.
You have to deal with it. (x2)
SkavlanDo you sleep at night?
MullerWe’re working day and night, as usual.
Then you become addicted to that drug, you know…
You want to keep on tasting it, you know what I’m …
SkavlanIf I was (x4)
employed in Trollhättan
and wondering whether I’ll have money for Christmas.
What would you say to me now?
PerrelliMan kan inte lägga sig ner och dö, man har ett ansvar!
SkavlanIf I was (x2)
employed in Trollhättan
What would you say to me now?
JuholtLivet handlar om att kunna ge och ta emot förlåtelse.
SkavlanIf I was (x2)
employed in Trollhättan
What would you say to me now?
UllmanI really think you should go home
and think about alternative transportation.
SkavlanDo you sleep at night?
MullerThe only thing I can tell you
is that your chief executive
is working day and night. (x3)
SkavlanDo you sleep at night?
MullerYes, I sleep at night!
UllmanNår begynte løgnene å smyge sej inn?
SkavlanVi ses på nyttårsaften! God Jul så länge!

Perfect

Det är inte lätt att vara ödmjuk när man är bäst.

Everyone else make mistakes.
Not me, not me.
Everyone else should give and take.
Not me. I just take.
I cannot help I’m without guilt.
It’s just the way that I am built.
That’s why I like to throw the first stone.
It is my duty, my duty alone.

I am perfect.
I do nothing wrong.
I am perfect.
Beautiful and strong.
I lead my men to victory,
I change the path of history,
because it is my destiny to be
perfect.

Do as I say. Keep up the pace.
Obey! Obey!
Don’t mess with my perfect office space.
Just obey or go away.
I build my fortess of concrete and steel.
And from the top I will reveal
that people must think outside the box.
Their own completely meaningless box.

I am perfect.
I do nothing wrong.
I am perfect.
Beautiful and strong.
I lead my men to victory,
I’ll rule the world in harmony,
because it is my destiny to be
perfect.

Future archeology

Civilisationers uppgång och fall.

Take a look 5 – 600 years from now
A fraction of mankind lives on
Building on our ruins
remains of the past
Trying to remember what’s gone.

What will they find,
The future archeologists?
What’s left behind?


Take a look 5-6000 years from now
a new civilization blooms.
Curious of the myths that surround our time,
they start to search for the reason for our doom.

They take a look 5-6 metres under ground
the most robust constructions remain:
silos and deposits for nuclear warheads and waste are found.
They open up Pandora’s box again.

What will they find,
(The sarcophagus around Chernobyl, will be a haunted place,
where the tomb raiders get lethal diseases.)
The future archeologists?
What’s left behind?
(- Lethal diseases)

Take a look 50 million years from now
aliens find a world turned to dust
We were a parenthesis in the history of Earth
A thin layer of poison in the crust.

What will they find,
(Polluted sediments bear witness of a species
that flooded the Earth and perished.)
The future archeologists?
What’s left behind?
(- Polluted sediments)

Fimbul

Vintrarna 2009/2010 och 2010/2011 var hårda och vid midvintersolståndet 2012 skulle maya-indianernas kalender ta slut. Fukushima och vulkaner på Island, rejält stökigt i mellanöstern och sydeuropas ekonomi på knäna. Vad kunde gå fel? Vintern 2011/2012 blev slaskig och Ragnarök kom av sig.

We’ve already had two
hard winters in a row.
Now we’re waiting for the third.
where the summer almost ends
before the melting of the snow
It’s the Fimbulwinter, mark my word.

It’s the period of coldness
that precedes Ragnarök
or call it Armageddon if you like
At the winter solstice next year
we know much better if
the crushing power of judgement will strike

You can see it all around you.
You can smell it in the air.
The shit has already hit the fan
with earthquakes and volcanoes,
disorder everywhere.
Even China syndrome in Japan

It seems we have come to an end.
It seems to be our fate,
as the Mayans predict the final fall
to wintertime next year.
The end.
All signs indicate
that we live in the last days of this world.
Ragnarök is near.

The horsemen of apocalypse
are saddling their horses
to ride the surface of the earth.
They’re doing good in Africa
starting conflicts and wars
where civilization saw it’s own birth.

And Famine has already
turned acres into dust
creating starvation and rage.
Exporting food to the western world
We enjoy it with lust.
Eutrophication is our Plague.

It seems we have come to an end, but not really yet…

It seems we have come to an end.
All signs indicate
that we live in the last days of this world.
Ragnarök is near.
The end.
You have to contemplate
that the Mayans predict the final fall
to wintertime next year.

We’re consuming far too much.
We’re consuming much too fast,
stealing from our children.
This will never last.
We’ll soon see countries falling
from the burden of their debts.
Economy is stalling.
I hope I’m not correct,
but if I am, you’ll never know
what’s next, what will come.
We’ll plant a seed that will grow
and maybe there’ll be some
future archeologist
that find what we have left
and understand the consequence
of egoism and theft.

It seems we have come to an end.
All signs indicate
that we live in the last days of this world.
Ragnarök is here.

Miranda

You have the right to remain silent

You have the right to remain silent.

Everything you say,
everything you do,
everything you write,
everything you show
can and will be held against you.

You have the right to remain silent.
You have the right to remain invisible.

Everything you say – will be saved.
Everything you do – will be recorded.
Everything you write – will be backed up.
Everything you show – will be viewed by forces that can and will hold it against you.

You have the right to remain silent.

If you’re not visible, you do not exist,
but maybe that’s preferrable.

Everything you write will be backed up
and possible to retrieve in a search engine for anyone.